At Thomas Furber & Co., we understand these difficult conversations, and we’re here to help families navigate this process to find calm and compassion to support the younger loved ones through loss.
Why It’s Important to Talk About Death with Children
We all experience grief differently, especially children and adults. Depending on their age, they may not understand what death means, or may express their emotions through questions or play rather than words and emotions. Avoiding the subject may create fear or confusion surrounding the subject, while telling the truth gently and lovingly can help children feel included.
Younger children often see death as temporary, while older children begin to grasp its permanence. Either way, it’s important to answer all their questions truthfully, using language that they can understand. Simple explanations such as “Grandad’s body stopped working” are more helpful than euphemisms like “gone to sleep,” which can cause misunderstanding or even fear of bedtime.
Approach the Conversation with Care
Find a calm and familiar environment, and encourage your child to share what they think they know has happened. This helps you correct any misconceptions. You don’t have to have all the answers; your child won’t expect that. What matters most is your child feeling heard and supported.
You should let them know that feelings of anger, sadness, or confusion are perfectly normal. Express to them that everyone grieves in their own way, and there is no wrong or right way to process the way you feel.
Involving Children in the Funeral Process
Many parents question whether they should include their children in the funeral process; this is understandable. This depends on each child’s age, personality and emotional maturity. Allowing children to take part, even in the smallest ways, can help them process their emotions and say goodbye.
They might choose flowers, draw a picture, or read something that gives them comfort. This involvement gives children a sense of contribution, which turns a difficult day into a meaningful act of remembrance.
Supporting Children After the Funeral
Grief doesn’t end when the service does. Keeping routines as consistent as possible helps children feel secure. Encourage them to talk about memories, look through photos, or create a memory box together.
There are numerous resources, such as children’s books about grief, such as The Invisible String, You Will Be Okay, and The Memory Tree, that can also help start gentle discussions. If you notice your child is struggling to cope over time, charities such as Winston’s Wish and Child Bereavement UK offer wonderful resources and professional guidance.
We’re Here to Help
At Thomas Furber & Co., we believe every family deserves compassionate support, including the youngest members. Our team is here to offer guidance through every stage, helping you plan a service that feels comforting and respectful for everyone involved.
If you’d like to talk to us about arranging a service or need advice on supporting children through loss, please don’t hesitate to contact our caring team today.
