How A Funeral Service Can Help With Grief
We often hear people say, “I don’t want a funeral service”, “I want to keep it simple”, and “I don’t want to waste money on a funeral”. But having the opportunity to say goodbye to a loved one, even in its simplest form, can help enormously in the grief journey.
Funerals Are About Good Grief
Researchers and psychologists are very clear in their message about funerals and grief: participating in a funeral helps to counter the initial effects of grief like shock, numbness and disbelief.
Funerals underpin a necessary part of grieving as they reinforce the reality that the death has actually happened. It’s essential to allow grief to surface, and a funeral provides a safe and appropriate place to show and share our feelings with others.
Funerals Are For The Living
Since time began, all cultures have created rituals to honour their dead – to acknowledge what the person meant to them and know they have been respectfully ‘laid to rest’.
When someone dies, the funeral is about them, but it’s also for those who are left behind grieving. For the people who knew, loved, and cared about them.
A Funeral Is Important In Many Ways…
1. Creating A Sense Of Closure
A funeral provides a formal setting to confront the reality of loss. Seeing a loved one’s physical body, or the coffin in which they are placed, brings a sense of finality that can help mourners begin to confront the reality of the loss, which is a critical step in the grieving process. Without this, grief can sometimes become unresolved or prolonged.
2. Providing Community Support
Funerals bring together family and friends in one place to express their grief and support each other. It’s a chance to be surrounded by others who understand what you’re going through. This sense of togetherness can be incredibly comforting, providing a reminder that you are not alone in your sorrow.
3. Structure And Ritual
While the traditional funeral may feel outdated for some people, rituals, whether religious or personal, help give structure to the chaotic emotions of grief. Whether through prayers, songs, or symbolic gestures, these rituals can help mourners make sense of their loss.
4. A Funeral Provides A Starting Point For Grieving
A funeral marks the beginning of the grieving process for many. It is the first of many steps toward healing. After the funeral, people often feel a sense of relief that allows them to process their emotions more openly. Without a service, as in an unattended direct cremation, mourners might miss this important milestone, potentially complicating their journey through grief.
5. Enabling The Transition To A “New Normal”
Funerals serve as a milestone that can help mourners begin to adjust to life without their loved one. By gathering to say goodbye, people can start to accept that they are entering a new phase of life. This stepping stone can be vital for adapting to a changed reality and finding a new normal.
6. Recognising The Value Of A Funeral Beyond Cost
There’s no denying that funerals can be expensive, but it’s essential to consider the emotional cost of not having a funeral or service offered by unattended direct cremations, which are a lower-cost option.
The Long Term Impact On Grief Of Not Having A Funeral
Funerals are a chance to say goodbye, receive support, and honour a loved one’s memory, which can far outweigh the monetary expense.
Without this opportunity, families may feel an emotional void that could impact their ability to grieve and heal.
Investing in a funeral service provides a priceless foundation for mourning, offering benefits that extend far beyond the financial costs.
If you’re following the instructions of your loved one who didn’t want to “make a fuss” or “waste money” on an expensive funeral, we can help you honour their wishes with a simple, low-cost funeral, such as our Intimate Cremation or Simple Funeral, in a way that still gives you the opportunity to gather together with family and friends to say your goodbyes and publicly mourn their loss.
Please contact us at any time to talk through your needs and wishes.
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